Keeping the Spark Alive in Your Relationship
When you build a fire to warm your home or to add a bit of ambiance on a cold night, you have to add a few logs along the way to keep the fire burning. Relationships are the same way. They begin with that initial spark and stay burning as we add “logs” of attention, connection, and understanding. Over time we get distracted by life and the fire burns down. Here’s some small ways to keep the fire burning!.
Give Each Other Your Full Attention
One of the greatest gifts of love you can give someone is your attention. It’s the small ways you look your partner in the eye, physically face toward them, and engage that make all the difference. Relationship experts John & Julie Gottman call it “Small Things Often”. When you first fell in love, your partner was the center of your world. Slow down and take advantage of the opportunities to connect. Whether it’s to share a silly story or seek advice, be sure to always give each other your full attention. Tune in and fully and engage. Ask questions and be in the moment.
When the relationships begins to feel stale and old, it’s time to learn something new together. This could be taking a Salsa class or learning how to white water raft. The wonderful thing is while you are learning a new skill together, you will most likely learn new things about each other. We get to a point in our relationship when we think we know everything about the other person. But people are deep, mysterious wells that take years and years to explore!
Take turns planning something fun and spontaneous for you to do each month. It could be borrowing your friend’s condo for a rooftop summer picnic with stunning views of downtown. Or it could be taking a weekend cooking class, or going on an overnight trip up into the mountains or down by the shore. Being spontaneous helps you stoke the fire and share new experiences together. .
Love is not something you fall in and out of; it is a journey that both of you are on together. To stay the course, be sure to give each other your full attention, learn together, and be spontaneous!
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If you’re relationship is struggling, we understand. We have the right tools to get the spark started again. Call us at 850.450.7223 or make an appointment in our secure client portal here https://believehopeinspire.securepatientarea.com/portal/
P. Dianne Presley, LCSW
Owner/Founder Believe, Hope, Inspire Wellness Services LLC