You’re Just Not Listening – Why that may be true
“You’re not listening”. Ever heard that complaint before? Last week I had a client who said his partner didn’t understand him. She just kept repeating the same complaints over and over again and she didn’t get it that all of it was her problem, not his. When I asked them to discuss the issue in session it was clear why this cycle kept happening. Once he heard this phrase, he began to understand why.
Postpone your own agenda
It wasn’t long before he realized that he had been listening only long enough to find something to disagree with and, as soon as there was the slightest bit of a break in the conversation, he launched his defensive. He had ignored her complaints, hurt feelings, and frustration because he focused on wanting to get his own way rather than understanding what was bothering her.
It’s an equal opportunity problem – a lot of people do it – and fixing it can increase emotional connection and intimacy, which leads to the kind of closeness that lasts a lifetime.
Feel like you’re too far gone for this simple step to make a difference? We can help. When both partners are good listeners and can set their own agenda aside long enough to really hear each other, it’s amazing who you’ll discover that you’ve been ignoring. Call 850.450.7223 today or follow the link here to our online calendar and make an appointment today.
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Just want more tips and tools? Check out other blogs we’ve done here.