Formula for a Better Valentine’s Day
Special holidays like Valentine’s Day can bring added strain to any relationship, especially to those struggling with surviving a pandemic like COVID 19. How can you take the pressure off this year? It’s easier than you think.
Start with compassion
Let’s face it. We’ve all been through so much and we’re all struggling to feel close and connected. With all the losses, it’s easy to put pressure on our spouse or partner to be everything we need and make up for all that we’ve lost. Start this Valentine’s Day with a huge dose of self-compassion. Then spread it around.
From a compassionate place, act to be helpful. If you know your partner is struggling with ideas for your Valentine’s Day celebration, drop some helpful hints where they are sure to be found. Make it a priority to be helpful and set your partner up to come through and shine.
Decide to have fun
Deciding to bring a positive, playful attitude to time you spend together is truly a choice. Having a positive perspective and an easy-going attitude adds to your own joy and fulfillment and lightens up the mood for your partner. Drs. John and Julie Gottman, in their book “Eight Dates” have a whole date night plan centered on having fun and being playful together. Make this Valentine’s Day “lighthearted” and fun!
Have realistic expectations
If it’s been hard to be together don’t expect that this one night will be over the moon. When you take responsibility to bring your best you to your partner this Valentine’s Day and be grateful for what they bring to you, you may be surprised how it could go. We’re all still struggling with COVID closeness, so be kind to yourself and your partner and don’t expect more than is realistic to give.
Following this formula might be just what you need to enjoy this 2021 Valentine’s Day.
Dianne Presley, LCSW, BC-TMH
Believe, Hope, Inspire Wellness Services LLC
Anxiety, Depression, Loss and Relationship Therapy
Gottman Level 1 and Level 2 Training in Couples Method Therapist
Gottman Training in Traumas and Affairs and in Couples in Addiction
Gottman Educator in 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work and Bringing Baby Home
Certified Brain Based Success Coach