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  • STOP Self-Sabotaging Your Holiday Story

    3 Ways You Could Be Setting Yourself Up for a Holiday Fall

    Jack-O-Lanterns are being replaced with Pumpkin Spice Lattes as November races along. You’ve got your holiday meal together and just have last some last minute sprucing up to do to make everything perfect. But wait. You’ve been adding a lot of ingredients to your holiday plans and that’s great. It just may be time to consider leaving out these self-sabotaging habits this season.

    Stop Taking Things So Personally

    Ok, so I know as an American you’ve probably been raised to believe that you are the center of your world. It is important to be reminded that each individual matters and that if you really work hard you can make a real impact on the world. Just don’t forget that others probably don’t think about you and what makes you happy quite as much as you do. Ouch! I know it’s a bit painful, but many times the actions of others don’t have as much to do with you as you might think. So this year when Aunt Gertie tells you your cousin Francis makes that green bean casserole so much better than you, just take a deep breath, swallow your pride, and agree that Francis does make fantastic green bean casserole and maybe she can bring it next year. One less dish you’ll have to make! Just don’t take it personally and it won’t ruin your whole day.

    Stop Double Speeding

    There is something to be said for slowing down. You’ve heard a lot about mindfulness and living in the moment. It’s really the secret ingredient that replaces the hurried, frantic feeling of rushing on to the next task. And the one thing that helps people avoid that let down feeling when everybody goes home and the house is quiet again. Slowing down helps you savor the moment and helps imprint the experience in your memory. When you stop double speeding, you enjoy the time you spend and feel refreshed by it.  And feeling refreshed enhances feelings of gratitude and love and calms the body. And a calm body is a less anxious, depressed body. And that is good for you.

    Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

    If you’re your own worst critic maybe it’s time to stop. This may be one of the hardest things to quiet down. When you stop taking things so personally and slow down your pace, you may be prone to start the internal chatter of self-criticism. The turkey was really dry, you forgot the ice cream for the apple pie, and there was no toilet tissue in the guest bathroom. Your guests may roll with it (get it?), but you are the one who won’t let it go. So Stop. Consider challenging the self-defeating chatter and wrap it in humor or another positive spin that lightens the intensity of the emotion and counteracts the negativity.  

    It’ll be a truly Happy Thanksgiving when you learn to STOP the saboteurs and start enjoying your life.

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    Dianne Presley, LCSW, BC-TMH
    Owner/Founder
    Believe, Hope, Inspire Wellness Services LLC
    Anxiety, Depression, Loss and Relationship Therapy
    Gottman Level 1 and Level 2 Training in Couples Method Therapist
    Gottman Training in Traumas and Affairs and in Couples in Addiction
    Gottman Educator in 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work and Bringing Baby Home
    Certified Brain Based Success Coach
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